Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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