There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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