Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
