don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize