my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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