When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
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