Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
