While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
