If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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