The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
