Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
