JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
