Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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