He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
okay pat passed out under dana's car
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
