I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
