We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The ass gains better be worth it
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