dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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