I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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