Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
