Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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