HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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