apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
