So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
