I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
