5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
