Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
