I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
