the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
