Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
