they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
