i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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