OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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