Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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