Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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