I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
