Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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