sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This baby is an asshole
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
