and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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