Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
