you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
