Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I forget how to act sober
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
