I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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