also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
