She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
