normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
