If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
