Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
