The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
