i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
