then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
