I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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