But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
someone owes me an orgasm
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The adults are the big ones right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
