There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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